That Was One Dank Burrito!

I've always been a big fan of eating a balanced diet. I've always made sure to balance out any healthy foods I eat with a healthy portion of meats and sweets. My wife often complains that I eat too many carbs. Her rational for proper food consumption is often difficult to understand.

Like one time when I offered her a treat that I was eating, she declined, making a disgusted face. I said, “Don’t you like it?” She responded, “Yeah, it’s just a waste of calories. I’ll save them for something I’ll enjoy more.”

Waste of calories? I didn’t know we had a limit?!?! I thought we can have the good sweets and the better sweets?!?! It’s like she’s confused calories with cell phone minutes and put herself on a 700 calorie per day plan—except no free nights or weekends. And I’m thinking, well I didn’t eat many sweets yesterday so I’ll just use my roll-over calories and eat her portion.

Speaking of sweets, someone at work today brought in a cake today which she called “Better-than-sex Cake.” What a weird comparison. I mean, the cake was delicious: chocolate with drizzled chocolate sauce and candy bar chunks crumbled on top. But to use such a title to describe how good the cake tastes seems to be a bit irrelevant. I mean, the other day I ate a nasty bean burrito that gave me terrible heartburn. But I didn’t call it "Worse-than-the-holocaust Burrito."